Hey Idiot, I am not running a non profit, unadvertised yard sale!

Hey Idiot! I'm talking to the idiot that casually walked off with my 2006 Ryobi weed-eater this past Sunday afternoon. Last time I checked, when an item is on a persons private property and not marked for sale, it usually does not mean "Hey, come and take me." Also, when someone is clearly mowing their lawn, and a lawn care tool or item is present, a trained chimp can recognize that the item might be used later in the lawn care maintenance process. Apparently I was the victum of blatant idoitism. At Sunday, at approximately 12:40 PM, I walked to the front of my house to find out that an idiot had mistakenly identified my house as an unadvertised, non profit yard sale. So, let me be clear to all idiots. If I intend to sell an item, you will see idiot proof labels directing you to my sale (these are called advertisements). Also, at no time would I ever consider conducting a "Come help yourself to my stuff for free," type of sale. With these perameters set forth, I hope we can avoid any further incidents of your idiot thought patterns affecting me.