Hey Idiot, answer questions much?!

Hey, Idiot! Let me ask you a question. Oops, I already tried that, and got a dumb-mouth answer. Three words come to mind......... DON'T NEED IT! When I come in to do my job, a job which others in the company refuse to do, or are just too lazy, I would appreciate not being critizied in the manner of how I complete this job. To make a long story short, I had paper work to do and used the company conference table to do it. Considering this particular task goes much faster with a large work space (like a conference table), I utilized the the large table. Makes sense, doesn't it idiot? However I was surprised when I arrived at work the following day and had a message on the white board that read "Please do not use the conference table for updates." Hey idiot, let's run through a few things first.
#1) You are an idiot!
#2) You saw me in the conference room yesterday, why did you not address this "problem" at that time?
#3) What kind of idiot is so apprehensive about confrontation that they avoid the issue while it is happening, and write a spineless message on the whiteboard the following day?
#4) Do you know that you are indeed an idiot?
#5) Would it help if I were to call you an idiot, so you can in return identify yourself as an idiot?
So, to continue with my story. After I read the idiot message on the whiteboard, I asked the idiot's wife (who works in the office as the accounts receivable rep) "Who wrote the message on the whiteboard?" Well, as it turns out, the wife is also an idiot. Basically, I am surrounded by idiots. The idiot wife (whom we will now refer to as idiot #2) responded with "Well, _____ (insert idiot #1's name) paid a lot of money for the table." HEY DUMB IDIOT, that's not the question I asked. Seeing that I was dealing with what appeared to be a classic idiot, I approached it from a different avenue. "Is there a problem with the table? " I asked. Idiot #2's response "I hope there are no scratches on it, but the next thing I will do is look." Although the answer was consistent in the idiot dumb mouth department, I at least have to give her points for fluency of conversation. I asked a question, and she responded with an ass like, but adequate answer. Congratulations idiot #2, you are capable of carrying on a conversation.
The point of the story is simple. At my work, tables are to be looked at.